It's not me, it's you π Are you working with a nightmare colleague?
It's not me, it's you
A lot of people I work with in my coaching work suffer fromΒ the same problem.
Other people.
The people above them, below them, around them or sat next to them.Β Other people cause us no end of grief.
Now, there's obviously a spectrum of this problem - from the noisy eater two desks away through to the sociopathic workplace bully.
For most people the daily pain is in the middle ground; the micro-management, the power tripsΒ and general poor role modelling and lack of respect.
This interviewΒ with author Robert Sutton provides some expert advice on how to 'work with assholes'.Β He explores the nature/nurture origin of 'the asshole' and how to use 'time travel' to manage the stress their behaviour can cause.
In coaching, the conversation around these situations comes down to the fact that we cannot change the behaviour of others, but we can change our behaviour.
Bottom line: we can choose to be better.
This brings me to...
Fault vs Responsibility
SomeoneΒ else's behaviour is not your fault butΒ how you reactΒ is your responsibility.
1) Be a better role modelΒ - you might work for a nightmare manager, but you don't have to pass that onto the people working for you.Β You have the opportunity re-calibrate the culture in your team.Β Think about the impact you want to make to others - what does that look like?
2) Ask yourselfΒ - 'how do I contribute to this situation?'.Β Yes, this one takes a bit of an ego-check but it's important.Β I've been guilty of letting an unproductive work relationship impact my own actions which does not help the situation.
3) Move onΒ - ultimately, if the situation is so toxic that it's causing you to suffer, you can take responsibility by moving on - from changing projects to changing company.Β Gallup polls show that 50%+ of employees leave companies because of their boss.
PS.Β Not convinced?Β Even Will Smith has been talking about this (and he's much cooler than me).
Overcome your challenges with coaching
Get in quick!Β TheΒ February $150 90-minute Troubleshooting Sessions offer endsΒ this week!
As my newsletter subscribers and friends you also get earlyΒ access to my new coaching packages.
I'm offering youΒ *free* 15 minute introductionΒ sessions to find out if coaching is the right option for you.
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Book your FREE 15 minute session here.
This is a great opportunity to test the water,Β find out more about coaching and howΒ we can work together to overcome your challengesΒ at workΒ and come "unstuck" with no obligation.
Quick Tip:Β Presentation nerves
Whether you're presenting recommendations to a client, an internal business case or delivering training, nerves can get the better of all of us.
So next time you feel your voice shake or your palms get sweaty, instead of seeing it as a negative reaction, think of it as your body getting you ready to switch on and perform.
You're getting into 'go mode'.
This technique is used widely in sports psychology where just changing the mindset of our physical reaction to stress builds our resilience and helps us use these natural reactions to our advantage.
Want to see your management or leadership challenge addressed with helpful advice and resources?Β Email me at steph@stephclarke.com and let me know what topics you'd like me to include in future newsletters.
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