Do you hate receiving feedback?
Surviving Feedback
A lot is written about how to better provide feedback to your team members.
From how to provide these messages in the spirit of giving and improvement to leveraging trust and relationships to delivering this confidently and compassionately.
But, what about when you’re the person receiving feedback?
I’ve worked with many people who recoil at the thought of sitting down and being given feedback (a symptom of when feedback only happens intermittently, rather than being an ongoing ‘normal’ conversation) so much so that it can even result in physical stress symptoms.
If this is you, read on.
With most aspects of life, I believe that successful feedback receiving lies in the effective use of two things;
Mindset; and
Preparation
Here's how...
Top Mindset Tips for Receiving Feedback
Separate the message being delivered from the person delivering it
Listen with the intent to understand the feedback, not to respond to it
Separate your performance from your personality - constructive feedback isn't about you as a person but about your skills or behaviours
Practice gratitude - see the provider as someone giving you the gift of an opportunity for you to get even better at the work you do
“You get bitter or you get better”
Top Preparation Tips for Receiving Feedback
Self-assess; what feedback would you give yourself?
What questions might you want to ask? (especially if you need examples of what went well / what could be improved)
Say 'thank you' - prepare yourself so that once they provide you the feedback, the first thing you say is 'thank you'
Finally, don’t forget that some people are REALLY bad at giving feedback. They might be nervous, or inexperienced or not have high emotional intelligence that allows them to deliver feedback in a more effective way.
Regardless, you have the power to choose how you receive and respond to the message of feedback. Choose to use that power.
PS. I’m going to be talking about effectively giving and receiving feedback at my next guest spot at the Pillar Leaders Meetup on Wednesday 3 October – come and join us.
"We have so much room for improvement. Every aspect of our lives must be subjected to an inventory... of how we are taking responsibility."
Nancy Pelosi
Upcoming Events
Catch up: This week on LinkedIn
(click to read full posts)
Want to see your management or leadership challenge addressed with helpful advice and resources? Email me at steph@stephclarke.com and let me know what topics you'd like me to include in future newsletters.
Did someone forward this email to you?
1) What a great friend they are, buy them a coffee
2) Sign up here to receive this directly to your inbox each week
3) Pass the good deed on and forward it to someone else