💥 The one where I tell you I’m writing a book

Well, there’s no point burying the lede is there?!

Hi there 👋🏻

Up in the top three questions I get asked the most is; ‘so, when is your book coming out?’. This, despite the fact that I have never voiced any ambition or particular plans to write a book. I mostly just like books.

However(!), here we are. A few weeks ago, a friend sent me an email that triggered a rapid thought escalation, cumulating in a synaptic explosion of…

‘THIS is the book’.

The book is about friendship. I’m bouncing around titles, but it is about going ‘beyond birthdays’ in our adult friendships. It’s less of a dense prose book, and more of a burst of joy, showcasing a host of fun, interesting, creative, quirky, and meaningful examples of the ways that people spend time with, and celebrate their friends.

It’s not just a book of ideas like ‘hiking with friends is good’ (although obviously that’s also true), but the specific stories of tiny regular rituals, creative celebrations, and more interesting time spent together. So far the (very rough) themes include…

💗 Small rituals

💗 Keeping in touch / friendship from a distance

💗 Celebrating more / make the everyday an event

💗 Something about ageing together

I’m a huge fan of friendship. I think it’s a tragedy that friendship is regularly relegated to ‘secondary’ to romantic relationships in Western cultures. Especially when often it’s our friendships that are the richest and most enduring relationships in our lives.

Despite most people’s enthusiasm about their friends, it’s so often these people we’ll cancel on more easily, go too long without seeing or talking to, and generally regret not making more effort with. There is even a whole category of ‘millennial culture’ online videos about this. Before long, we’re just forwarding cat videos to each other on Instagram (sorry Julie) or forcing yet another dinner / drinks catch up on someone’s birthday.

Our lives are all so busy, so it’s easy to slip into these less connected ways of co-existing. But friendship is a bloody joy, so we should recognise that more. And given the pervasive feelings of disconnection, division, and loneliness, it’s clear we need each other more than ever.

As I’ve stated writing, I’ve bounced the ideas with several friends and friend-adjacent people. The topic is resonating so much, and I’ve loved how quickly people share their own stories about the fun things they do / have done with friends, and share their excitement about reading more examples of what other people do.

Which brings me to…

Tell me about your friendships!

I’m taking submissions to include in the book (I know, very meta). I know there are SO many amazing examples of the things people do with their friends that are fun and unique and wonderful, and should be shared to spark some imagination of how we all celebrate the friends in our lives. Tell me about them!

(Speakpipe is the option if you’d rather talk than type your submission)

And just in case you’re thinking “this sounds amazing, I want to submit something, but I might forget”. Don’t worry, I gotchu. Hit reply to this email if you’d like me to hassle send a couple of friendly reminders between now and 24 November when all submissions are due.

Of course, if you know someone who has their own cool friendship ritual or experience, please forward this to them to submit their story.

Well. That’s all out in the world now. Better get writing…

Your friend,

Steph

PS. To borrow from Austin Kleon, this newsletter is 'free but not cheap'. You can support their ongoing creation and keep me in books by buying me a coffee as a 'thank you', recommending it to a friend, or using any affiliate links in the email.

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The it list 🔥

Some of the things I’ve been enjoying recently…

• Podcast - If Books Could Kill, Eric Adams special: I fittingly listened to this on my flight home from New York this weekend. I’d had some good conversations with some of my NY friends about what’s happening in the city and the current situation with Mayor Eric Adams, so this episode was good background. As always, I laughed aloud multiple times listening to Michael and Peter. Spotify | Apple

• Song - Ether Song by Turin Brakes: I reckon Turin Brakes are one of the most underrated British bands of that late 90s/early 00s era. This song has come back to my attention and is on heavy rotation in my ears. (Also, important PSA).

• Sonos alarm function: I’ve recently splurged on a couple of new Sonos units so that I can enjoy better sound in all of the most frequented rooms in my apartment. An unexpected highlight has been waking up to music again, as the Sonos has an alarm setting that you can link to Spotify. I’ve been enjoying creating a weekly rotating 20 min ‘music to wake up to’ playlist, which lasts me through my two allowed snoozes before the more aggressive phone alarm noise starts shouting at me to get up.

• Playlist - The Album a Day Club: This is the playlist that accompanies The Wax Museum Substack. It’s a great algorithm buster (something I need at the moment) as it excellently spans genres and generations.

• Live music - IDLES: I saw IDLES for a third time last week, and in a third country (I was in New York). Which means they match Bloc Party, who I have also seen in three countries. Anyway, IDLES know how to supercharge an audience’s energy, and it’s interesting to see the consistency of the crowd they attract; people who like loud music, and who are into the idea of the world being a bit kinder and more tolerant. I was especially delighted that the Americans (or at least American IDLES fans) know how to very actively enjoy live music. Australia, take note 👀.

  

• Thing - Maison de Sabré Apple Airtag holder: I’m such a sucker for an unnecessary but pretty ‘thing’ (hello little treat culture) and this is one of my latest tiny joy purchases from the hot Sydney brand. Somewhat ironically, it does unclip itself quite easily, so keep an eye on where you put it. An apple a day

• Video - Teaching Gen Z Shakespeare: This video is popping off in my feed, and has nearly 4 million views. Watch

📚 What I read this month 📚

What made it off the TBR pile this month…

The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston

⭐️⭐️💫
I liked: This is a story about a case of mistaken identity, and the realities of being forgotten as an older person living in aged care. The plot is really enjoyable. A nice mix of a bit ridiculous, whilst also being (partially) believable. Most of the characters are pretty sweet, and you quickly find yourself wanting the best for them. It’s also an interesting insight into life in an aged care home, and the realities of some of those dynamics.

I didn’t like: The writing style really wasn’t for me. I found the over-zealous use of descriptions and metaphors to be quite cringe and cliché (crinché?). Similarly with some of the dialogue, which felt a bit forced and unnatural in places. All of these things almost stopped me reading the book a couple of times, but I am glad I ploughed on to see how the plot panned out.

Sneak peek: currently reading…

• Always Will Be by Mykaela Saunders. It’s a short collection of speculative fiction imagining futures where Indigenous sovereignty is fully reasserted in a future version of the Tweed.

• Citizens by Jon Alexander. A book about the answer to most of today’s problems being changing our collective narratives away from being consumers, and towards us all being citizens.

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Some places I popped up recently 👋🏻

Smart Company - In my most recent Smart Company piece, I asked whether in a sea of ‘return to office’ mandates and past thinking, we’re squandering the future of work progress we made post-pandemic.

App - The People Spot: Each month I pop up in the audio tracks of the People Spot app sharing a few interesting signals about the future. These audio clips are included in the free download (iPhone only) and you can use the code STEPHC for an additional two months free access to the full content library in the app.

Learna - Learna is a new learning app for organisations to break the cycle of drudgery in their approach to learning. Organisations and teams I know who use it love it, and I’ve also got three modules on the platform. Book a demo.

Offbeat on Air podcast - I had the most fun chatting (and sometimes ranting) to Lavinia and Mili about futures thinking and the future of L&D. Listen on Spotify or Apple.

Never Done Before Festival - the amazing Lily Higgins and I have finally found a place to collaborate; on a session about death and facilitation as part of the Never Done Before Festival, happening virtually on 15-16 November.